​Actor George Takei Declares He Lives Life As A Straight Man

After years of being public with his sexuality, actor and internet sensation George Takei said this morning that he has chosen to live his life as a straight man.

Takei, famous for being in Star Trek, made the declaration in a post on Twitter. 

“I want to deal with this honestly and openly and that starts with me examining my own behavior. As everyone knows, in my life I have had relationships with men. I have exclusively loved and had romantic encounters with men throughout my life, but I now choose to live as a straight man. I have simply been method acting as a gay man for all these years. This decision has nothing to do with any recent allegations, of which I know nothing about. Thank you for supporting me for all these years. Now back to my usual virtue signaling about how Donald Trump is a sex offender. What projection?”

Earlier this week Takei responded to sexual assault allegations against Kevin Spacey, stating that “When power is used in a non-consensual situation, it is a wrong (…) For Kevin Spacey (…) he was the older, dominant one who had his way.” It’s a relief for virtuous voices with spotless reputations, such as Takei, to speak up on these serious matters.  Though abuse is rampant throughout Hollywood, it is a consolation that we can rely on the bastion of purity that is Takei to guide us through these difficult times.

We hope Takei enjoys his new life, and boldly gropes where no man has groped before.

From London, England, Alizee is a satirical contributor for New Media Central.