Taylor Swift To Be Offered Job As Major Political Advisor To The White House

Much to the relief of the American public and media, Taylor Swift is being offered a job as an advisor to the White House. The unprecedented move came as several different media outlets kept enquiring for Taylor’s opinion on the current political climate, which she has remained steadfastly silent upon.

An insider at the White House told us: “We are a government whose sole focus is on what the American People want, and if the people want the political opinions of popstars to guide them then, by God, we will deliver.

Taylor Swift seems like the best option, she’s an American sweetheart and everyone keeps asking, day after day, for her to break her silence on the Trump administration. ‘What Would Taylor Do?’ has become a modern day national anthem; people are flocking en masse to her for some type of answer to all this political turmoil. She is fast becoming our contemporary equivalent of Nelson Mandela. She has a civic duty to America and our Founding Fathers to provide us insight in these dark times.

We originally thought of asking Katy Perry, but she did that weird thing where she shaved her head and we didn’t want Vladimir Putin to think her representation of America was a passive aggressive move. We look forward to working with Taylor if she accepts.”

Taylor has kept characteristically silent on the job offer, but to the White House we are certain that the silence, right now, is deafening.


From London, England, Alizee is a satirical contributor for New Media Central.